HOMGKGWAGAL

It's been a long time since I have blogged. A real long time. It's
just that I came across a copy of HOMGKGWAGAL. Ok, I've just finished
reading it, and that might be the reason I'm talking in acronyms. How
Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild And Got A Life describes the life of
many Indian kids in America, working hard, excelling in academics, and
yeah, missing out on a life in general. The book was funny, atleast
most of the time. With all this talk of plagiarism etc, I had a lot of
expectations when I started reading the book. Not a big disappointment
over all. Opal's parents were really cool people, with a "get a life"
plan(HOWGAL) including Opal kissing a guy.. Wow, are her parents
"progressive" or what? The part where her dad starts listening to
Ludacris n co and greeting folks with "what's up dawg?" was funny. I
don't listen to Beyonce, nor did I get the stuff where the author
throws around brands ,cosmetics and high heels. But it was a good
read.

P.S: Posting by e-mail. WOW! It works.

Bengaluru, a traffic nightmare!!!

Bengaluru, better known as the IT capital and the Silicon valley of India now has a new tag. It now holds the title of a traffic nightmare too. Yesterday night, at around the same time (i.e. around 11), I was running for all my life was worth from one side of the Majestic bus terminus to the other. But before I tell the climax, let's go to the beginning of the story.

I had to come to Chennai by the Guwahati express. The train leaves at 11.30 pm from the Bangalore Central. Normally, it would take an hour from the Electronics City (where the hostel is) to the station. Being the soul of cautiousness that I am, I estimated a buffer of an hour and a half and decided to take a bus by 9. It must have been good enough to go, and possible come back (a tight squeeze). And we were (Vyshnavi and I) in a bus to the Town Hall at 9 pm.

It took us an hour and fifteen minutes to get to Madivala. The roads were so packed that if you stick a rat in there, and there would be no more space. Traffic at its best!!! At this rate, companies will have to start asking employees to stay over in the night and go back home once a while (better halves be warned)!!

The next part of the journey got even more interesting. We got off at Madivala and took an auto. He charged a ton (at this rate, he can set up his own company). As part of the tour package, he was supposed to bundle us into the station in half an hour flat. He decided to throw in an unguided tour of the back alleys and the gallis of Bengaluru. Under all that glitz and charm , the old city still thrives on. The autowala made a valiant effort; but to no effect. After all the fast (read as rash) driving, and my requests in Hindi (passable at its best), I came to know that he knows tamil when he told me.. "Saar, eppo vena erangi poidunga. Fulla jaam aagi irukkku" (Sir, get down now and walk from here. Fully jammed from here onwards).

I got down with Vyshnavi and started running/walking carrying nearly 10kgs of luggage, like as if it was doomsday, and I was getting away someplace else. It was nearly 3 kms (give or take half a km), and I made it in fifteen minutes. Given the fact that I am in the typical ISP physical shape, I am still not sure how I made it. Even tried some of that Rambo stuff of "No pain! No pain!" when my legs started giving out with all that running. I never boasted of being a chivalrous soul. That, combined with the fact that I might miss my train, I left behind Vyshnavi near the over-bridge in Majestic and poured in new speed.

I reached the train at 11.17 pm, 13 minutes before the departure time. I never knew I could do this. I was totally exhausted by this time. To rub it in, the train started some ten minutes late. Why does this happen to me?!? Why was the traffic this bad? Why did I have to run? Why did the train have to start late?


(Logging out! Can't stand reliving the whole thing again)

Chronicles of an Indian Software Professional (ISP)

I am a software professional, one of those elite(!) people who claim to understand computers and act like it too. I get a ton of money as compensation for staring at the computer screen for hours. I speak many languages including assembly, C, Java, Perl and Ruby (No. That's not my (girl friend/wife)'s name). I usually speak in acronyms like FYI, ROFL, ASAP and WTF.

As far as my daily life is concerned, it is very structured, just like the code I write. I work, then browse, read news, cartoons etc online. I am very proud that my 'offline' life is nonexistent. I am young and smart. However, I am not exactly in a great physical shape. Climbing up a couple of stairs leaves me winded. Grandpa in the flat opposite can surely walk for a longer distance. And after hours of listening to music on my beloved iPod (I can't imagine how I managed to live without it), my mom has to call me a dozen times for dinner before I respond. I am really trying to get into shape. I now walk all the way to the cab, cut down on junk food ( twice a day), and have reduced caffeine consumption to just 2 ltrs/day. I just don't want to fall sick and miss work.

I love my work. It usually involves managing code written by other people (though I am not sure if I would classify them as people after seeing their code). I am a very dedicated person. I dream of debugging code and test cases, not Aishwarya Rai or Catherine Zeta Jones. I have a wonderful bunch of team mates. We share many common passions - procrastinating till the deadline, sucking up to the boss, and having a gala time all weekend by partying, sleeping and sleeping some more. I manage to blow a wad of cash in the weekend too.

Talking of money, my dad feels that IT people are responsible for the increasing prices. Since we earn more, we can afford to pay more for less, driving up the prices. He feels they are evil, even though his kid belongs to this unique species.
I don't exactly disagree with the prices thing, but not to his face. You see, I am not supposed to agree with my father. Ever. Period.

I am job hopping this month, as the other company is offering an extra 1k a month. Not that I need the money. But someone else might end up snapping the post (and the extra cash), so I decided to pick it up. The fact that the other office has more number of single women was also in favor of the other company. This is because of my total lack of dating life. There is something about being an IT professional that repels girls like mortien with mosquitoes.

On the whole, I belong to a very unique species of creatures of modern India. I prefer jet setting all over the world, talk in dollars and dinars, eat pizza and coke, and still come back home to a simple dinner cooked by mom. I understand that I am full of contradictions. But then, why shouldn't I be?

BTW, the wh0l3 po5t is in English for the no0bs and n0n-IT muggl3s, 4nd no7 1n l33t. C0de on f0lk5, and may th3 s0urc3 b3 w1th y0u..

[This thing is added later after some friends asked me about some details. THIS PIECE IS FICTION. It doesn't actually reflect life..]

Why write such testimonials?

I know.. It has been a long time since I have blogged. But, I just couldn't stop when I went to orkut today..

Why do most people write such "loser" testimonials? When you write about some "ABC", it usually starts as..


Well, what do I say about ABC? (or) Where do I start?


If you don't know what to say, please stop there. Why make an attempt and write really dumb stuff. Start somewhere for heavens sake. Just don't write out what you are thinking.

Nearly every alternate person in orkut is defined as crazy. They can't stop being funny, and are always the greatest people on earth. They are always helpful. They are sweet. They are colorful. Even the one testimonial that I managed to coax out of a friend about me is like that. I really hope that this utopian state can be reached some time on planet earth (we can leave the "crazy" part out).

Better stop myself before I go overboard..