Chronicles of an Indian Software Professional (ISP)

I am a software professional, one of those elite(!) people who claim to understand computers and act like it too. I get a ton of money as compensation for staring at the computer screen for hours. I speak many languages including assembly, C, Java, Perl and Ruby (No. That's not my (girl friend/wife)'s name). I usually speak in acronyms like FYI, ROFL, ASAP and WTF.

As far as my daily life is concerned, it is very structured, just like the code I write. I work, then browse, read news, cartoons etc online. I am very proud that my 'offline' life is nonexistent. I am young and smart. However, I am not exactly in a great physical shape. Climbing up a couple of stairs leaves me winded. Grandpa in the flat opposite can surely walk for a longer distance. And after hours of listening to music on my beloved iPod (I can't imagine how I managed to live without it), my mom has to call me a dozen times for dinner before I respond. I am really trying to get into shape. I now walk all the way to the cab, cut down on junk food ( twice a day), and have reduced caffeine consumption to just 2 ltrs/day. I just don't want to fall sick and miss work.

I love my work. It usually involves managing code written by other people (though I am not sure if I would classify them as people after seeing their code). I am a very dedicated person. I dream of debugging code and test cases, not Aishwarya Rai or Catherine Zeta Jones. I have a wonderful bunch of team mates. We share many common passions - procrastinating till the deadline, sucking up to the boss, and having a gala time all weekend by partying, sleeping and sleeping some more. I manage to blow a wad of cash in the weekend too.

Talking of money, my dad feels that IT people are responsible for the increasing prices. Since we earn more, we can afford to pay more for less, driving up the prices. He feels they are evil, even though his kid belongs to this unique species.
I don't exactly disagree with the prices thing, but not to his face. You see, I am not supposed to agree with my father. Ever. Period.

I am job hopping this month, as the other company is offering an extra 1k a month. Not that I need the money. But someone else might end up snapping the post (and the extra cash), so I decided to pick it up. The fact that the other office has more number of single women was also in favor of the other company. This is because of my total lack of dating life. There is something about being an IT professional that repels girls like mortien with mosquitoes.

On the whole, I belong to a very unique species of creatures of modern India. I prefer jet setting all over the world, talk in dollars and dinars, eat pizza and coke, and still come back home to a simple dinner cooked by mom. I understand that I am full of contradictions. But then, why shouldn't I be?

BTW, the wh0l3 po5t is in English for the no0bs and n0n-IT muggl3s, 4nd no7 1n l33t. C0de on f0lk5, and may th3 s0urc3 b3 w1th y0u..

[This thing is added later after some friends asked me about some details. THIS PIECE IS FICTION. It doesn't actually reflect life..]

Why write such testimonials?

I know.. It has been a long time since I have blogged. But, I just couldn't stop when I went to orkut today..

Why do most people write such "loser" testimonials? When you write about some "ABC", it usually starts as..


Well, what do I say about ABC? (or) Where do I start?


If you don't know what to say, please stop there. Why make an attempt and write really dumb stuff. Start somewhere for heavens sake. Just don't write out what you are thinking.

Nearly every alternate person in orkut is defined as crazy. They can't stop being funny, and are always the greatest people on earth. They are always helpful. They are sweet. They are colorful. Even the one testimonial that I managed to coax out of a friend about me is like that. I really hope that this utopian state can be reached some time on planet earth (we can leave the "crazy" part out).

Better stop myself before I go overboard..