HOMGKGWAGAL

It's been a long time since I have blogged. A real long time. It's
just that I came across a copy of HOMGKGWAGAL. Ok, I've just finished
reading it, and that might be the reason I'm talking in acronyms. How
Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild And Got A Life describes the life of
many Indian kids in America, working hard, excelling in academics, and
yeah, missing out on a life in general. The book was funny, atleast
most of the time. With all this talk of plagiarism etc, I had a lot of
expectations when I started reading the book. Not a big disappointment
over all. Opal's parents were really cool people, with a "get a life"
plan(HOWGAL) including Opal kissing a guy.. Wow, are her parents
"progressive" or what? The part where her dad starts listening to
Ludacris n co and greeting folks with "what's up dawg?" was funny. I
don't listen to Beyonce, nor did I get the stuff where the author
throws around brands ,cosmetics and high heels. But it was a good
read.

P.S: Posting by e-mail. WOW! It works.

Bengaluru, a traffic nightmare!!!

Bengaluru, better known as the IT capital and the Silicon valley of India now has a new tag. It now holds the title of a traffic nightmare too. Yesterday night, at around the same time (i.e. around 11), I was running for all my life was worth from one side of the Majestic bus terminus to the other. But before I tell the climax, let's go to the beginning of the story.

I had to come to Chennai by the Guwahati express. The train leaves at 11.30 pm from the Bangalore Central. Normally, it would take an hour from the Electronics City (where the hostel is) to the station. Being the soul of cautiousness that I am, I estimated a buffer of an hour and a half and decided to take a bus by 9. It must have been good enough to go, and possible come back (a tight squeeze). And we were (Vyshnavi and I) in a bus to the Town Hall at 9 pm.

It took us an hour and fifteen minutes to get to Madivala. The roads were so packed that if you stick a rat in there, and there would be no more space. Traffic at its best!!! At this rate, companies will have to start asking employees to stay over in the night and go back home once a while (better halves be warned)!!

The next part of the journey got even more interesting. We got off at Madivala and took an auto. He charged a ton (at this rate, he can set up his own company). As part of the tour package, he was supposed to bundle us into the station in half an hour flat. He decided to throw in an unguided tour of the back alleys and the gallis of Bengaluru. Under all that glitz and charm , the old city still thrives on. The autowala made a valiant effort; but to no effect. After all the fast (read as rash) driving, and my requests in Hindi (passable at its best), I came to know that he knows tamil when he told me.. "Saar, eppo vena erangi poidunga. Fulla jaam aagi irukkku" (Sir, get down now and walk from here. Fully jammed from here onwards).

I got down with Vyshnavi and started running/walking carrying nearly 10kgs of luggage, like as if it was doomsday, and I was getting away someplace else. It was nearly 3 kms (give or take half a km), and I made it in fifteen minutes. Given the fact that I am in the typical ISP physical shape, I am still not sure how I made it. Even tried some of that Rambo stuff of "No pain! No pain!" when my legs started giving out with all that running. I never boasted of being a chivalrous soul. That, combined with the fact that I might miss my train, I left behind Vyshnavi near the over-bridge in Majestic and poured in new speed.

I reached the train at 11.17 pm, 13 minutes before the departure time. I never knew I could do this. I was totally exhausted by this time. To rub it in, the train started some ten minutes late. Why does this happen to me?!? Why was the traffic this bad? Why did I have to run? Why did the train have to start late?


(Logging out! Can't stand reliving the whole thing again)

Chronicles of an Indian Software Professional (ISP)

I am a software professional, one of those elite(!) people who claim to understand computers and act like it too. I get a ton of money as compensation for staring at the computer screen for hours. I speak many languages including assembly, C, Java, Perl and Ruby (No. That's not my (girl friend/wife)'s name). I usually speak in acronyms like FYI, ROFL, ASAP and WTF.

As far as my daily life is concerned, it is very structured, just like the code I write. I work, then browse, read news, cartoons etc online. I am very proud that my 'offline' life is nonexistent. I am young and smart. However, I am not exactly in a great physical shape. Climbing up a couple of stairs leaves me winded. Grandpa in the flat opposite can surely walk for a longer distance. And after hours of listening to music on my beloved iPod (I can't imagine how I managed to live without it), my mom has to call me a dozen times for dinner before I respond. I am really trying to get into shape. I now walk all the way to the cab, cut down on junk food ( twice a day), and have reduced caffeine consumption to just 2 ltrs/day. I just don't want to fall sick and miss work.

I love my work. It usually involves managing code written by other people (though I am not sure if I would classify them as people after seeing their code). I am a very dedicated person. I dream of debugging code and test cases, not Aishwarya Rai or Catherine Zeta Jones. I have a wonderful bunch of team mates. We share many common passions - procrastinating till the deadline, sucking up to the boss, and having a gala time all weekend by partying, sleeping and sleeping some more. I manage to blow a wad of cash in the weekend too.

Talking of money, my dad feels that IT people are responsible for the increasing prices. Since we earn more, we can afford to pay more for less, driving up the prices. He feels they are evil, even though his kid belongs to this unique species.
I don't exactly disagree with the prices thing, but not to his face. You see, I am not supposed to agree with my father. Ever. Period.

I am job hopping this month, as the other company is offering an extra 1k a month. Not that I need the money. But someone else might end up snapping the post (and the extra cash), so I decided to pick it up. The fact that the other office has more number of single women was also in favor of the other company. This is because of my total lack of dating life. There is something about being an IT professional that repels girls like mortien with mosquitoes.

On the whole, I belong to a very unique species of creatures of modern India. I prefer jet setting all over the world, talk in dollars and dinars, eat pizza and coke, and still come back home to a simple dinner cooked by mom. I understand that I am full of contradictions. But then, why shouldn't I be?

BTW, the wh0l3 po5t is in English for the no0bs and n0n-IT muggl3s, 4nd no7 1n l33t. C0de on f0lk5, and may th3 s0urc3 b3 w1th y0u..

[This thing is added later after some friends asked me about some details. THIS PIECE IS FICTION. It doesn't actually reflect life..]

Why write such testimonials?

I know.. It has been a long time since I have blogged. But, I just couldn't stop when I went to orkut today..

Why do most people write such "loser" testimonials? When you write about some "ABC", it usually starts as..


Well, what do I say about ABC? (or) Where do I start?


If you don't know what to say, please stop there. Why make an attempt and write really dumb stuff. Start somewhere for heavens sake. Just don't write out what you are thinking.

Nearly every alternate person in orkut is defined as crazy. They can't stop being funny, and are always the greatest people on earth. They are always helpful. They are sweet. They are colorful. Even the one testimonial that I managed to coax out of a friend about me is like that. I really hope that this utopian state can be reached some time on planet earth (we can leave the "crazy" part out).

Better stop myself before I go overboard..

A ray of hope

She was happy. There was finally some hope in the end of a long dark tunnel. Her children would eat well from tomorrow. There is a chance that they might even get to go to school, and become someone important. Her spirits were high. Her husband, a bulldozer driver, will get some work from tomorrow. She silently thanked the gods for all the new demolition work on the Cooum bank and the extra people needed to do it. In any case, there would be food in the plate tomorrow.

Down the drain

It was his dream. He had put in a lot of effort to realize it. He had pledged every material possession he had, taken a loan and borrowed some more. It was his own house. It was small, lovely and at the wrong place. He had been sold the land saying that all the documents were in order. And now, the government order to clear encroachments around the Cooum river endangered his house. Cooum in the outlet for sewage in Chennai. There was nothing he could do. His dreams were going down the drain.

Funny poem @ Railway counter

Long time since I made a post. But today, I saw something that I really, really had to post. This thing that I read was funny. First, let me give you people an idea of the situation.

There I was, at the Koramangala BDA complex waiting for cancelling my ticket to Chennai Express on Sunday. I was in a really irritated mood, since I had been standing for nearly 5 hours. First, from 12.30 to 2 I was at the Electronics City reservation counter, where the guy promptly closed at 2 pm (I would love to see if he opens the counter precisely at 8am, and yeah, I know I am whining). Then, I was standing in the BDA complex, again in a long queue. I saw this poem neatly framed on one of the pillars inside the room having the counters. Here goes...

[Read at your own caution. No damages can be claimed if you hurt yourself laughing. Posted as accurately as possible.]

---

The moment Ur in Tension,
U will lose Ur Attention,
Then U r in Total Confusion,
And you will spoil personal Relation,
Ultimately, you won't get Co-operation,
Then u will make things Complication,
Then Ur BP may also rise, Caution,
And you may have to take Medication,
And try to think about Solution,
Instead understand the Situation,
It is only for Ur Prevention,
If u understand my Intention,
You will never come again to Tension... Anonymous

---

God, I couldn't stop laughing for some time. Not many people care to read notices. People write some weird stuff, like this notice that I found th eother day...

"People should not seat the first floor after 6 pm.. By Order xxxx.."

Wow! That is some statement folks.. I am not saying that I am perfect. I know I am not, but people need to read what they are writing before they put it up in public places. Well, I am off for a holiday for a week at Chennai (come tide or high water, which the case in Chennai now =)) )

Common Cold & its cure

Here are the symptoms of the common cold:
* Runny nose
* Nasal Congestion
* Sneezing

This entry starts out like some medical journal. I am telling you all this because I am suffering from all of them, to a certain degree. Actually, I have been suffering from cold for the past few days. There is an adage "Feed the fever, starve the cold". However, I am having bouts of fever too.. so do I hog on food, or do I starve myself? Modifying Shakespeare a bit, "To eat or not to eat, that is the question".

The assignment on Perl is killing me. Every time I come up with a solution, Gurmeet or Sids keep plugging holes into my algorithm. I have already re-coded it twice. But today was wonderful. I have managed to sleep nearly 13 hours in a single day. A normal person needs around 6-8 hours of sleep.. so does this make me doubly normal?? [lol].

I have managed to waste one more day of my life doing nothing. Isn't that amazing? There are so many people who waste time without realizing it. Atleast I realize that I am wasting time. Any way, after dinner, I was playing frisbee with the guys in the grass. Some how, I didn't feel like going back to the room. I have already deviated a lot from the actual topic of the blog.. my common cold.

There is this quote that I found in Erich Segal's Doctors where the dean comments that he hopes that he can turn out some good doctors, cure some diseases and maybe, even find a cure for the common cold.

Gotta watch what I type ! @#!$##

Take a look at this article. If such things really come out, I am going to stop typing. Already, my passwords give pretty good insights into what I think and what I do. If such tech. actually start working with high accuracy, we might as well give take of the traditional security techniques using passwords and dump them in the bottom of the 'C'.

I gotta stop reading ./ , it is making me paranoid :(

Clear as mud! These M$ guys are crazy

This article that I found must be the joke of the year. I don't know who played this joke on the M$ hiring guy... and if these guys had any sense at all, they wouldn't have gone on to offer a job to Eric S Raymond. Clear as mud! These M$ guys are crazy!!

Here is the link to the blog by ESR on the mail and his reply. AFAIK, this is the joke of the year (atleast till now). The joke on Micro$oft HR guys was in real poor spirit. I do feel sorry for them, and I am not a Micro$oft basher. But they must have done some background check before they offer jobs. Hope the lesson is drilled into them the next time around...

Vows and wows

I read this post on making and keeping vows. This story made me say, "Wow, I never thought of this". I had made one vow to myself saying that I would blog as frequently (read everyday) as possible. But then, I did not blog for nearly a month. I find this blog to be a really good emotional outlet and writing an entry always leaves me feeling better.

But I still feel that a blog is not the place to bare your inner most secrets and leave it for the world to read. It could land a person in some serious trouble. I feel good about myself [:)], cos this is my second entry for the day (my day goes on till 3 in the morning). I hope to keep my vows and wow you all.

Ah.. Long time no post

Life was wonderful. That was my previous starting. I end up typing a whole blog entry, and then, do something stupid and screw it up. Now, I have to start all over again :(. Except for the strategy classes, life is still wonderful. My hate-this-phrase now reads as:

1. "So what?"
2. "So what?"
3. "So what?"
4. "So what?"
5. "So what?"

That basically sums it up. This TA thing is also getting pretty weird. But a seperate post about that later. It has been a long time since I posted. Good to be back.

What am I doing??

Today has been a blur, as usual [:))]. I managed to go to sleep at 5 in the morning. The worst thing that can happen is being disturbed when you manage to go to sleep after suffering from "partial insomnia". First, dad called up, then a friend wanted to borrow a book, and finally, my team mates kept messaging me for a team discussion. What a night (nope, a day actually)?

I go to college, slog all morning for a class in the evening with a paper in which I don't understand much. At 3, guys told me that we are going to have a placement meeting. Everyone was having real fun as the class was supposed to be cancelled. We go to class to find that prof is not coming and we have a surprise quiz. What a day? [:((]

The only bright part of the day is that Prof Dinesha called me to tell me that I have been chosen as a teaching assistant for Principles of Programming Languages course. Wow, $$$ and some good work experience.

Now, I am stuck with my management assignment team discussion. I still don't understand. What am I going to do with these courses? The truth is that I will realize that these courses help me in the long run, but they are just a pain in the neck now. My conscience speak!!

Back 2 class

Tis been a long and boring wait!! Classes have finally began. I had my first class on adv Databases today. Class was wonderful. No more boredom. The juniors have also arrived. Let's see how things develop.. will keep posting

Casa Piccola @ Koramangala

Yesterday was wonderful. We went out the whole day and had some major 'phun'. The day started with Sids banging on my door to wake me up.

Sids: Wake up. Monty has gone to buy tickets at PVR
Me : hmmm [read it like a grunt of a guy who hasn't woken up yet]

(Bang, bang, bang. Sids persists)

Me : Wait a minute. I will be out.
I go out and he tells me that we will be leaving in an hour, and I wasn't even fully awake (all this at around 10.30 in the morning).

We reach PVR just in the nick of time. 'War of the worlds' was a good movie. But the problem is, from Spielberg, we don't expect good. I expected a great movie. The movie seems to have borrowed visuals from other movies like Independence day, ET etc. The ending was not as powerful as expected. We knew the aliens were going to be vanquished, but couldn't it have been done a bit better. The movie also sparked a huge debate between Ashish and Karthik, with the others pitching in with their opinions. The movie was ok, just that.

Hungry and ready to hog, we reached Casa Piccola at around 3. We managed to order something, but did not have a clue as to how it was going to be. To cut it short, lunch was a disaster. Either we picked all the wrong dishes in the menu, or the cook is not as good as the one at Casa Piccola, Residency Road. As it was my birthday treat (one long overdue), I walked out with a heavy stomach and a lighter wallet.

The walk back to Forum where the bikes were parked did help with the heavy stomach atleast. There were plenty of birds to watch, an "ornithologist's" paradise. I liked one special bird at the Levi's showroom :)). We were delayed at the Levi's showroom as the pants given for alteration was not ready (thank god). The ride back in the rain was just the added bonus.

Back in the room. I started on the "Born in Fire" book with vengance, and managed to finish it by 2. Not bad at all. Why can't every day be like this?? :(

Got Tagged (a long time ago)

Long long ago, so long ago that the guy who tagged me (Sids) doesn't remember how long ago, I was tagged into this meme about books I read. So here it goes...

Number of books I own:
LOTS! Whenever I go home, I have to clear a place in my room to sit down or take a nap. I heard that my mom managed to clear the mess my books made. I never bothered to count. But I did manage to get a lot of stuff like old volumes of Mahabaratha, Complete works of Shakespeare, O'Henry collection as an inheritance from my grandpa.. and I could never get enough of books. After coming to iiitb, I have to think of other basic needs like sustenance, so I have reduced the number of books that I buy.

Last book I bought:
Five point some one... a really cool book. There was something with those characters that I could actually identify with. We were off to birthday treat of Manas, and happened to go to Crossroads(?) by chance. The book is so great that it is still doing the rounds in the hostel (yeah, people actually read it!).

Last book I read:
I think "Charmed" by Nora Roberts. It is sort of a lovey-dovey book. I can finish one of these books in a hour and a half (an added advantage). It is not serious, no great philosophy or thoughts thrown in. Basically a boy meets girl, they fall in love, are not ready to accept it and finally get married (happily ever after ending). The book is a change from the regular stuff like sci-fi, philosophy and action.

Five books that mean a lot to me:

1. The Godfather by Mario Puzo [my personal bible in life, when in doubt, read the Godfather]

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho [love that book]

3. Mahabaratha [never read the Sanskrit version, but one of the best political books written]

4. Love Story by Erich Seagal

5. Who moved my Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson [not that I am into self-help books, just that I like this particular one]

That's that folks.

P.S. I decided not to mention my obsession with Star Wars, space and time travel and Space Odysseys series, 'cos it is considered unhealty [;)]. People just don't realize that what is impossible is just something that we can't imagine. Possiblities are as far as we can stretch our mind.

Free for lunch

Dilbert's creators have been kind enough to give him his wish... but what about me? Hey, I am free for lunch too...

Wa(l)king dreams

Sunday! The day that we all look forward to. I personally don't like Sundays, 'cos Mondays are just around the corner. But this Sunday was special. No classes on Monday, less assignment pressure than usual and the fact that I just managed to get hold of 4 movies. Life can not get better.

I managed to sleep at 5.30 today morning after watching 2 (or was it 3) movies continuously. I personally never get tired of all this sentimental and action crap that the moviewalas continuously feed us. The best ones are the "love stories". I am one of those people whose entire love life that can fit on one side of a very small grain of knife. It is nice to find that there are other people around the world who find love, and live happily ever after (I wonder why the divorce rates are so high!?!)

I decided to hit the sack when I couldn't keep my eyelids from coming into close contact. Suddenly, Sids is banging at my door, 'cos it is 1.30 pm and high time that we go for lunch. Lunch at Pavitra was great. After the 25 paise episode (I think Sids has an account of it in his blog), the service was great. Back to the room, watch another movie, grab a shower, and then off to the volleyball court.

Now, here I am, banging my poor keyboard to smithreens, thinking of what to blog today, and writing a really long post. The day passed like a dream, and a nice one at that. Life doesn't get better than this.

Nerd level

I never knew I was such a "gone" case. Wow, am I a god or what?? :))

A ride back home

I must have written this post yesterday. Guess I was so tired that I put it off till today. I am back in Chennai. Good ol' Chennai, the land of 3 climates: hot, hotter, hottest [not an original quote, heard from many people describing Chennai :)) ].After the end of finance exam, it felt great to get out of college. There is nothing better than being at home, having so much time to do nothing, and being constantly pampered. But this whole post is not about Chennai at all. It is about the ride back home.

Vasanth, Badri and I left iiit-b at around 7.15. After escaping from a few death traps (those private bus operators between Bangalore and Hosur), we managed to get a nice and comfy ride. Meenakshi Bhavan at Hosur had some nice masala dosas and chola pooris for us to polish off. We reached the bus stand at around 9 and lo! and behold there was a decent looking bus from Hosur to Chennai. The seats looked comfortable and we thought we might just survive the ride back.

A warning to all those of you who want to grow tall. Consider the fact that you will be taller than the average Indian, and have your head bumping constantly in the roof of every bus, or auto that you ride. Consider the fact that even seats are not made to fit you in. And consider the fact that you might some be forced to go in a bus and fit your long legs in a very small place. I hope I have managed to scare atleast some of you from growing tall. Life is difficult (though the guys in the volleyball court think otherwise ;) ).

The seats were pretty comfortable, atleast to the other two guys. I really have to thank Vasanth, 'cos he took care of my laptop and gave me some space to stretch my legs. The bus ride can be summed up in two words - "bone rattling". I never knew that I had so many bones in my body that could rattle like that. I felt like people riding a bicycle [or whatever it was called] before an inflated wheel was invented. We were tired, and the rattling did help you to go to sleep, once you were beyond the brink of exhaustion.

The bus managed to come into Chennai at unholy hours [4.30 in the morning is a time that most folks wouldn't mind commuting]. Thanks to late night service of the ever-dependable MTC, I am back home. And in one piece! The post is pretty long. I guess I should stop now, and hold my peace.